Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
