so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
