My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
