Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
its not stalking. its research.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
