We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i need an iv and a liver transplant
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
