24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
