I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
