So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
