Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
