I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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