Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
