i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize