Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
