either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
