Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
