you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
