Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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