last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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