is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
