was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
