Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
