is your mom at the bar?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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