i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have fence marks all over my body
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
