the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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