Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
