I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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