let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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