Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Randomize
