Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
