We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
