how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
