The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
