I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
