i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
