woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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