SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
