Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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