Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
