I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
