maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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