I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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