you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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