He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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