seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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