you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
