I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
