Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
