Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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