We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
