This is not my ceiling
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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