So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
