thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
