Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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