I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
