I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
