he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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