dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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