There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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