those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
