is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
