You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
