he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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