Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
