why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
