so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
