I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
