her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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