I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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