we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize