Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Randomize
