This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
