Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
