Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
