I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
