Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
