I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
