trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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