I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You need a sexual gate keeper
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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