from now on my penis is your penis
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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